As I spent time on social media, I began to feel a weight of expectations for my own life to match the life I was seeing of others. The more I strived to have the life I was seeing on social media, the less content I became and I began to question everything about myself. Finally, my husband called me out and I decided to fast social media and take my discontentment to the Gospel. Within a few days, I quickly realized that the content I was seeing seemed so scripted. Where was the authenticity? The more I prayed through my struggles, I felt the challenge to, in fact, live more "scripted", which brought me back to this blog I had created months prior. Except the “scripted” life I desire is one that is less scripted for likes and followers and more rooted in the Scripture—the Gospel, so that what I share with the world reflects the hope I profess, the grace I’m dependent on, and the glory of the Lord. As I prayed, I realized I wasn't the only person out there who desired this authenticity. I desire for this blog to be a safe place where others can come, just as they are, for genuine connection. I don't have it all together and I am tired of trying to. There is beauty in the simple, yet purpose-filled life. Grab a cup of coffee and stay a while. I pray that the Lord uses the words He gives me to encourage and give you hope along your path.
The angst amongst the population is heavy as a fear seems to have settled in all around us. The fears are endless but with the same root—the unknown. Several weeks ago, I was driving along the interstate when the traffic was shifted to one lane due to some trees being cut along the edge. I settled in behind an 18-wheeler, running late, and frustrated. There were cones blocking the closed lane and with each cone I passed I anxiously anticipated the last cone so I could go around this truck. But the truck blocked my view. I had no idea if the cone I just passed was the last because I couldn’t see ahead of me or around the side. I just had to keep moving forward and even though I couldn’t see what was ahead.
The Israelites felt somewhat the same way when they were in the wilderness. So much so that they would make idols in hopes of gaining some control over the situation. The closed interstate lane was drivable, the tree cutters were just along the side. What if I would have just taken my chances to make my own path because I was in a hurry and frustrated that I couldn’t see what was ahead. I would have most likely plowed over a cone resulting in damage to my car or possibly received a ticket. Similarly, we have watched in the past weeks as people have hoarded toilet paper, soap, hand sanitizer, and really anything else that could be hoarded. I read an article by a psychologist that stated the response showed our human nature to control. I couldn’t agree more. Our human nature seeks control. We can’t stop the coronavirus, honestly, we can follow all the medical guidelines, but we cannot 100% keep ourselves from getting the virus. And, that drives humans bonkers. So, what do we do? We hoard items that might help in hopes of feeling that we are gaining control of the situation. The harsh truth—we can buy all the toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and soap but it will not be our provision during this time. God is. He is it. Today instead of resting my mind in the unknown, I allowed myself to recall all the things the Lord has done even when I couldn’t see what might be ahead. Then I allowed my mind to wander to all that He might do through this coronavirus situation. Often, we are so consumed with the wilderness around us that we don’t allow ourselves to consider all He is actively working on even while we remain in that wilderness. He never stops working, even when we can’t see what He is doing. There is no doubt that what is happening as a result of the coronavirus outbreak is a scheme of the enemy. I’m not sure what the enemy had in mind, but I do know that the Lord promises to be working for our good and His glory. I chose to rest in His promise when He assures us through His word that “His thoughts are not our thoughts” and “His ways are far beyond anything you could imagine”. The Lord allowed this, but He did not cause this. The virus did not take Him by surprise, even though that might not be how the situation feels. Moses instructed the Israelites, “You shall not be in dread of them, for the Lord you God is in your midst, a great and awesome God” (Deuteronomy 7:21). The great news for today, God is the same today for us and He was for the Israelites, He hasn’t lost His awesomeness. So, leaning on these truths from scripture we should not dread the virus, but rather trust that God is with us. There is no doubt that the enemy meant it for evil, but in remembering God’s past faithfulness, He turned around Joseph’s situation when his brothers sold him in Genesis. The circumstance is different, but I believe the purpose is the same throughout the ages, the enemy intends to harm, while God intends it all for good (Genesis 50:20). The first few days that the virus consumed the news and social media posts, I was certain the Lord was coming back within minutes. I’m still not completely unconvinced and find myself looking up—just in case. In the days that followed the initial “the virus is here” came an escalating since of panic and then the actual panic. Growing up in Alabama, I thought I would be prepared for how quickly can empty a store shelf in response to panic. Even the slightest mention of a snowflake and you won’t find milk or bread for days in most parts of the state. Yet, no snow day panic could have prepared me for countless pictures of empty store aisles. Every aisle. No items were spared. As I thought about the countless out of stock items, I could feel the anxiety rising within me until the sweet spirit whispered to me one word, distraction. The enemy is the author of distraction desiring to cause chaos while stealing peace. All the lack of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, diapers, and milk are distracting me from the truth that the Lord is my provision. Do you know who else spent time in the wilderness and had to look to God? Jesus. During his time in the wilderness, Jesus was tempted by the enemy. The enemy tried to distract Jesus from his purpose, but Jesus remembered God and quoted from the book of Deuteronomy. Moses instructed the Israelites, in the book of Deuteronomy, to reflect on the past faithfulness of God during the time in the wilderness for encouragement that hope for what God will do in the future is rooted in what God has done in the past. A lack of faith during challenging times isn’t something new for humans and the Bible is our guide for how to navigate our faith when we find ourselves challenged. Moses told the Israelites, “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart” (Deuteronomy 8:2). God chose to humble the people in the wilderness SO THAT the people would learn to depend on him and walk in his ways. The scripture challenged me to examine my own heart and what I found in my heart during this time is much more fear than faith. I love the Lord so much that this hurt me. I don’t want to give in to the distraction of the enemy and lean towards fear. No toilet paper is worth doubting my Savior. So, I’ve challenged myself to write down each time I remember a past faithfulness. Also, I’m journaling prayers for what I believe God might do during this time. I think of my friends who have been infertile but have decided to keep the faith and keep trying. Many of those friends are always busy but are now stuck at home—God can use their time at home to create new life. I write it down and I pray. I think of friends who have a broken marriage who are now forced to be together more—God can bring the miracle of restoration. I write it down and I pray. There are so many other areas that I love to sit and imagine how God could move through this “shut down”. What new doors can He open with the ones that have been forced closed by the outbreak? When my heart imagines these outcomes I am reminded of His truth, “immeasurably more than all you think or imagine”, and I find peace (Ephesians 3:20).
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Hi! I'm Morgan.Follower of Christ. Grace dependent. Wife. Mama. Homebody. Archives
July 2020
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