As I spent time on social media, I began to feel a weight of expectations for my own life to match the life I was seeing of others. The more I strived to have the life I was seeing on social media, the less content I became and I began to question everything about myself. Finally, my husband called me out and I decided to fast social media and take my discontentment to the Gospel. Within a few days, I quickly realized that the content I was seeing seemed so scripted. Where was the authenticity? The more I prayed through my struggles, I felt the challenge to, in fact, live more "scripted", which brought me back to this blog I had created months prior. Except the “scripted” life I desire is one that is less scripted for likes and followers and more rooted in the Scripture—the Gospel, so that what I share with the world reflects the hope I profess, the grace I’m dependent on, and the glory of the Lord. As I prayed, I realized I wasn't the only person out there who desired this authenticity. I desire for this blog to be a safe place where others can come, just as they are, for genuine connection. I don't have it all together and I am tired of trying to. There is beauty in the simple, yet purpose-filled life. Grab a cup of coffee and stay a while. I pray that the Lord uses the words He gives me to encourage and give you hope along your path.
My old room in my parent’s house. This was my view for the last few days. Michael came down with the flu, so tiny lady baby and I took a trip to the farm. We were thankful to have somewhere to escape the germs, but not being at home had this routine loving Mama and routine thriving girl in all kind of knots.
I believe God allows circumstances to remove us from our comfort zone when he needs our attention. For the last few weeks my spirit has been wrapped up in anxious thoughts. For no apparent reason, other than I felt somewhat unsettled. I should not be surprised. I have been seeking God more, as I enter a new season of life. I feel myself growing and I know the enemy is not happy about it. The days away from home provided me a lot of time to reflect. Going to my Mama’s you cannot help but to take a step back and slow down. Life is different there. It is slower. I mean, at night, I would sit on my parent’s couch and call my husband on the land line, because service was not great or non-existent and my phone was needed as a sound machine for my girl. When I am there I appreciate the quiet more. The noises of the world stop and are replaced by sounds of nature. Birds and bugs and breezes. You can hear your own thoughts clearly. During my days of snapping beans and making do with less, I thought about the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. Verses 39-40: “She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made—“. Verses 41-42: “Martha, Martha”, answered the Lord, “you are worried and upset over all the details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it”. Clearly the concern for all things unimportant has been an issue for MANY years. The concern for doing enough and being enough. A concern I am all too familiar with today. Martha was so enamored with the striving, the hustle that she was willing to call out her own sister in order to shine. Martha was frustrated that Mary seemed to gain the favor from the Lord by doing nothing by sitting and listening. I mean, did he not see her do ALL THE THINGS? Did he not see her being a boss babe? Now, maybe she just wanted to please the Lord, but her response to Mary says something else. What I hear in Martha’s response is pay attention to me. “Hey, Lord. Um, yes, see me over here? I have done ALL this for you. Mary has done nothing but sit a listen to you. I have earned your attention. I have hustled”. My reflection on this story came with conviction of all the times I have fallen victim to this same lie. Society tells us to earn our place. Work harder. Be more. Buy more. Hustle. Be assertive. God tells us to rest. To come, sit and listen. Our seat is always safe. (And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6) The world creates an inward focus, while the word creates a focus completely on Jesus. When your gaze is there all things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). Maybe not fancy things or trophies or status. But the important things like humility and grace and joy. I do not want to be so distracted with the anxious thoughts I gain from the world or social media, that I miss the moments of simply sitting at the feet of Jesus. Because it is there I find purpose and freedom and discover who I am. I am not sure where you are today, but be encouraged to take a load off, sit, and listen to what God might be trying to speak into your spirit. His voice is not often the loudest, but a whisper, that needs quiet to be heard.
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Hi! I'm Morgan.Follower of Christ. Grace dependent. Wife. Mama. Homebody. Archives
July 2020
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